Helen Seely (born Sutton )
Personal
Gender: Female
Date of Birth: July 5, 1917
Date of Death: April 7, 2004
Birth Place: Forest City, IL
Death Place: Rockford, IL
Helen Sutton Seely
86 A dear friend and mother
ROCKFORD – Helen Sutton Seely, 86, died April 7, 2004, in her home surrounded by friends. Helen died as she lived – with great dignity, spunk and purpose. During her last three months, Helen was cared for by a remarkable group of 48 women and 16 hospice volunteers who loved her dearly. We were all blessed by the experience. (Ruth) Helen Sutton was born July 5, 1917, in Forest City to Esther Grace Wiseman and William Scott Sutton. She grew up in central Illinois and earned a B.A. in English literature at the University of Illinois. Helen married Harmon D. Seely, M.D. in 1942, lived in Cherokee, Iowa, and earned her M.S.W. from the University of Iowa at age 52. They moved to Champaign-Urbana in 1970, and after her husband’s sudden death in 1971, she came to Rockford. Helen was regional director of Children’s Home & Aid Society (1972-82) and in private practice as a therapist from 1982-93.She officially retired 10 years ago but remained an incredible role model to us all as she aged actively with a commitment to life and longevity. Helen has been a mentor, friend, counselor, muse, cheerleader, supporter, organizer and sage for literally hundreds of women in northern Illinois. She helped women love their lives. Helen’s own life was full of friendship, music, theater, travel, study, joy, suffering and personal and spiritual growth. She was an active member of Womanspace, PEO, Al-Anon and numerous other groups that meant much to her. She has been honored by many, most recently being accepted into the Clara Barton Sisterhood of the Unitarian Universalist Women’s Federation. Helen loved her life, and she felt truly blessed. Helen was the mother of Anne (Raymond) McMahon of Cambridge, Ohio, and Robert Seely of Mount Pleasant, S.C.; sister-in-law to Gretchen Kreuter of Minneapolis. She was the proud grandmother of Brooke (Jason) McMahon-Kenworthy of Cambridge. Helen also was predeceased by her sister, Margaret Ella Sutton; son, David Seely; and beloved brother, Bob Sutton.
A memorial service to honor Helen’s life will be at 1 p.m. Friday, April 16, in Fitzgerald Funeral Chapel, 1860 S. Mulford Road. Visitation will be from noon to service time. In lieu of flowers, memorials to Womanspace, 3333 Maria Linden Drive, Rockford, IL 61114; or Northern Illinois Hospice Association, 4215 Newburg Road, Rockford, IL 61108. 4-13-2
Published in the Rockford Register Star April 14, 2004 Page 12A
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This piece will be found wanting because there is no way to celebrate, analyze or sum up any life in 17 column inches, much less do that for Helen Sutton Seely.
With a little help from a few of her many friends, I will try to give the flavor of a woman who knew herself, had fun, cherished friends, helped society, searched for God and lived a meaningful life.
Some of her friends gathered Thursday to tell me about Seely. She was 86 when she died last week, surrounded by friends, in her home. A memorial service is set for 1 p.m. today at Fitzgerald Funeral Chapel, 1860 S. Mulford Road.
She is survived by two children, Anne McMahon of Cambridge, Ohio, and Robert Seely of Mount Pleasant, S.C.
Friends say Seely never stopped being interested and interesting.
Seely formerly was regional director for Children’s Home & Aid Society and, later, a therapist in private practice. In a newspaper story that ran 19 years ago, she told a reporter: “I feel I am important in the whole scheme of things and the contributions I make honestly have some meaning.
“I HAD TO DISCOVER that for myself. It’s not that I am just a piece of human flesh that is here for a short time, and so what.”
The concept of a meaningful life was manifest in how Seely died and in the people who helped her on that journey.
Dying from bone and lung cancer, Seely needed around-the-clock care and companionship during her last three months.
She got what she needed from 48 friends who took turns caring for her. Kathie Ayres, a longtime friend, coordinated the schedule for Helen’s Handmaidens, as they called themselves. They were supported by 16 Northern Illinois Hospice Association volunteers, who also came to dote on Seely.
“She was always searching, always reaching,” said Norah Bourland, who had many intellectual conversations with Seely about her quest to know God. “I think it was an enrichment for her. It wasn’t a restlessness.”
She taught her friends to value and know themselves, to find out what creates happiness and to do more of it. She named her therapy business Love Your Life.
“SHE HELPED ME MAKE some pretty big changes in my life and to find what I needed to love my life,” said Theresa Parrish, one of the Handmaidens.
Seely took her own advice, but self-discovery, while worthwhile, can be painful. She understood that it’s not for everybody.
“She was respectful of people who couldn’t bear to lift up the stone and look underneath,” Bourland said. “She taught me that you can’t fix everything and you can’t do everything.”
“She encouraged people to live creatively and to pull from themselves what was unique,” Una Ryan said.
“She taught me to listen to myself,” Ayres said.
“She was who she was everywhere she went,” said Jody Butitta, another friend. “She was genuine.”
“I learned a little bit about how I want to die,” said Jan Henningsen.
Longtime friend Ginny Mullin visited with Seely a few hours before she died. Seely knew it would be that day, and she was peaceful.
“She said, ‘I guess this is it.’ And I said, ‘How is it?’
“She said, ‘This is what I signed up for.'”
Published in the Rockford Register Star April 16, 2004 Page 9A
